Behavior patterns of mature people
They deal with difficult people and situations effectively. They defuse the situation rather than allow it to escalate. They are good at damage control, crisis management, and rapprochement among individuals. They do all this proactively taking initiative on their own. This is the most important quality of the mature person.
They let bygones be bygones and don’t rake up old unpleasant stories and keep them alive.
They take criticism objectively and not as an attack on their self-image which they have to keep defending at any cost. They depersonalize the criticism and see it for what it is objectively.
They consult when in doubt and don’t live under the false belief that they know it all. They admit ignorance and say they don’t know when they don’t know.
They have a high level of acceptance of the design of life, especially the unequal distribution of talents, intelligence, skills and power among people and the unfairness that this causes in society.
They don’t expect perfection from everyone but have realistic expectations depending on the maturity level of the person they are dealing with.
They live largely in gratitude, and rarely in complaints, fault-finding, criticism and regrets.
They don’t take people for granted, however close they are or whoever they may be — young or old, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, man or woman.
They don’t take decisions when they are emotional but wait until their mind stabilizes. They also don’t provoke and push the buttons of emotional people.
They don’t run people down behind their backs or in front of other people. They talk to them in private and also hear their point of view.
They own up mistakes and don’t live off excuses or find scapegoats or justifications. They are ready to apologize and make amends.
They don’t expect their children to fulfill their dreams. They come to terms with their unfulfilled dreams.
They know when to stop, when to keep a distance, when to avoid, when to be firm, when to be soft, when to get angry, when to give in, when to take a stand, what to take seriously and what not to. They don’t live by rigid rules, but live contextually depending on the situation and the people involved.
They do not rub people on the wrong side from whom they need to get work done. They accept the ego as a reality that needs to be managed, both their ego and the ego of others.
They have the skill to distinguish between different levels of maturity in people and respond accordingly. The same situation will warrant different responses depending on the maturity of the other person. The Buddha used to give different answers to the same question after assessing the maturity of the questioner.
They don’t commit more than their capacity to deliver. They don’t make promises they cannot keep.
They deal effectively with their own fears and anxieties, their failures, shortcomings and uncertainties.
They do not keep on repeating the same mistakes again and again. After every mistake they introspect so that memory is strengthened and functions better next time in a similar situation.
They do not try to demolish someone’s religious faith and spiritual beliefs with rational arguments. They allow both reason and faith to coexist.
They allow petty things to remain petty and they have the discrimination to know what is petty and what is not.
They don’t abruptly dismiss someone’s opinion with a big No. They reply to it seriously, however trivial or silly it may seem to appear. This not only trains their mind to be patient but also leaves the other satisfied.
They don’t pick holes in whatever another person says or correct mistakes in their grammar. They simply present their point of view without making the other wrong.
They are happy if eighty percent of their life is going well.
Others feel safe, comfortable, and secure in their presence.