We all have to create expectations, make assumptions and live on hope. But they need to be realistic. Unmet expectations are the source of disappointments and frustrations. There is also a thin line between expectations, assumptions and hope. They overlap with each other. Hopes can masquerade as expectations. It is makes good practical sense to have Plan B if things don’t go as expected on important matters
Here are a few expectations, assumptions and hopes that we need to be careful about and not rely entirely on them
· Expecting an introvert to behave like an extrovert and vice versa. They can’t.
· Expecting your partner to become a millionaire by the time he is 30 and pointing out to someone who has achieved it. God help your partner.
· Assuming that whatever someone else is able to do everyone can do. Not really. Everyone is different. You have to be like them to do what they did.
· Expecting everyone to comprehend instructions that appear easy to you. This is an illusion created by the mind. Ask them to repeat the instructions
· Hoping to never fail. Needed as a positive attitude. But so many factors that are not in our control effect success. Have plan B ready.
· Assuming that our projections of the future are accurate . Business projections about the future can always go wrong and it is impossible to factor in all contingencies. Have different scenarios ready
· Expecting people will not forget what we tell them. Forgetfulness and remembrance are not in our control, especially in non-routine matters. They do not remember since the matter was not critically important to them. Better to remind them
· Hoping that all our wishes, desires and expectations will be fulfilled. Life is not so benevolent. Hope and disappointment go together. Be happy if there are more successes than failures.
· Expecting to achieve a state where we are always happy and peaceful. Impossible demand from life. Life is unpredictable and uncertain. Life is not in our control. There will be ups and downs.
· Expecting instant results. Patience is the key to success.
· Expecting everyone to be polite, respectful and pleasant. Wish people were like that, but some are not.
· Expecting never to make losses in the stock market. Then don’t enter the stock market
· Hoping never to be cheated or be taken for a ride or betrayed. We have to live on this hope but be circumspect at the same time. For some people, money is more important than relationships.
· Hoping never to fall seriously ill. Can happen suddenly and unexpectedly when everything feels OK. Preventive health care is the best bet
· Expecting life to be always fair and just. Life does not play according to any such rules. We can however be fair and just from our side
· Assuming that bad things will not happen to good people. Unfortunately, they do. Sometimes bad events strengthen them and sometimes it weakens them
· Assuming that good things will not happen to bad people. There is no such law in life. Let good things happen to everyone
· Expecting people will praise us for the good work that we do. They may not or they may think that it is not that good. We have no control over other people
· Expecting that hard work will result in success. Hard work is not the only determining factor in success but keep working hard. It is a good habit.
· Assuming that if we have no physical symptoms then we have no illness or disease. Diseases lurk in the darkness and can be asymptomatic. Better to take preventive checks.
· Assuming that our views and opinions are always right. That doesn’t seem right
· Expecting our views to be accepted by all. Some will not. Our views may also not be the only right ones
· Assuming that in relationships it is enough to be a good and kind person. No, it is not enough. You have to meet their expectations.
· Expecting other people to change. Give up this hope.
· Assuming that a married relationship is one long romance. Wish it were so. It is easier to sustain romance when you meet people once in a while.
· Assuming that you can quit your unhealthy habits anytime you want. That is an illusion. Habits are quite tenacious
· Expecting that your children will fulfil your dreams. Even if they want to, they may not be able to
· Assuming that our blood relatives will not let us down. Most won’t but don’t believe this with all relatives
· Expecting that everyone will honour their word and keep their promises. Not all do. Look at their history before assuming this.
· Expecting that our love and affection will be reciprocated. It may not happen but don’t stop being affectionate.
· Assuming that we are entitled to the fruits of our endeavours. Our efforts may not always yield fruits. We can only do our best. The results may also not be what we expected.
· Expecting our mind to give us the right words at the right time. Sometimes the mind can let us down. It will give us the right words after we go home and are relaxed.
· Hoping that our flight will never be delayed or cancelled. Occasionally they do. This hope causes untold frustration to many. Keep a plan ready if such things happen
· Expecting that our plans will always go as expected. Unforeseen events could happen at the last minute to derail any plan. Learn how to manage disappointments
· Expecting that a rich man will be generous with his money. Not many will be. It is not easy to part with money. Moreover, no amount of money feels enough.
· Expecting people to be proactive and act before we tell them. Few are intuitive. Better tell them upfront what to do.
· Assuming that everyone wants to be rich and famous. Not so. Some prefer a quiet life. Self-help gurus would like us to believe this as it serves their purpose
· Assuming that everyone wants to grow. Not really. Some prefer to remain as they are. They see nothing in them that needs to change
· Assuming that the fulfilment of our desires will be delayed but not denied. Depends on the desires
· Assuming that all people mature as they age. Not true. Some grow in immaturity
· Assuming that we have the capacity to handle all situations in life without help. Discretion is the better part of valour. Better to take wise counsel when venturing into unfamiliar territory
· Assuming that people learn from their past mistakes and will not repeat those mistakes. They rarely do. History repeats itself.
· Assuming that good intentions will always produce good results. The two are not correlated.
· Assuming that difficult life situations we are facing currently is due to our past sins. There is no way to find out. Cause and effect are not possible to correlate in all cases. If this assumption creates guilt but produces no change in behaviour then it is counterproductive
· Assuming that being blunt in communication is the best policy. Not always. Works only with some people. Others may take offence. We must communicate to get our message across and use the best strategy that works. No one strategy will fit all occasions. It has to be tailor-made for the person and the situation.
· Expecting God to reward you for being a good human being. No one knows how God chooses to bestow his favours. If no rewards come your way don’t stop being good
· Assuming that the more we give the more life will give us. Maybe. But continue giving whether you get back or not