Opinions and facts

The dictionary defines an opinion as a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. Opinions are not facts. They are not the truth. But you can form an opinion based on facts. Opinions can be changed. Facts cannot be changed. There can be many opinions on the same subject but there can be only one fact. Opinions can be biased as they can be colored by emotion. Facts are cold and logical. You can argue with opinions. You cannot argue with facts. Differences of opinion can divide people. There can be no differences with respect to facts. However, we can disbelieve both facts and opinions, if we choose to. But there are consequences.

Our actions are guided by facts. The mind leans towards the truth, or what it perceives to be the truth. The mind will not act on anything it feels to be untrue. It will not act on mere conjecture unless it believes the conjecture to be true. So also, it will not act on an opinion unless it perceives that opinion to be a fact. We have to convert an opinion into a fact if we are to act on it. Now here lies the danger. There are many opinions floating around which are believed to be true. We need to guard against these since they have an impact on our wellbeing and those around us. Choosing which opinion to believe to be true and which opinion to discard is crucial.

Since other people’s opinion of us matters a great deal to us we cannot ignore them completely and brush them aside as’ mere opinion’. Whether the person who says it is someone we respect or don’t like, it will still affect us. In fact, we would be more delighted if the person whom we dislike or who dislikes us praises us. Our self-image cannot tolerate anything negative about itself irrespective of who says it. In that sense, opinions do matter a great deal.

Once you believe an opinion to be a fact you will defend it to the hilt. It takes on a different power. Facts give security to the mind. There are no further doubts and confusion with facts. We can act on them straight away

There are opinions that we can choose to believe or disbelieve and it will make no difference to our daily lives. You can believe that the earth is flat, that it was created in seven days, or that there is no intelligent life other than on our planet. These can result in heated arguments, upset you for some time, and nothing more. But the opinions we need to consider more seriously and carefully relate to our self-image, about who we are. These have long-term implications as they will shape our attitudes, behavior, and destiny.

Opinions believed in become facts. The bridge that converts an opinion into a fact is belief. This belief need not always be rational or logical. Ideally, it should be based on consequences. For example, some cultures believe that past life deeds have an impact on current life. This is not a proven fact. It is a belief. We cannot, therefore, believe in it based on grounds of reason. But believing in it has good consequences. That belief, if strong enough, will encourage us to lead a virtuous life now, so that we have a good life in our next life.

Opinions of flatterers should be taken with a pinch of salt. We like people who flatter and praise us even if they are not genuine, as it bloats our self-image. What feels pleasant in the beginning will cause us much pain in the end. Once we give in to flattery, we will not be able to tolerate genuine criticism. We will also have a false perception of ourselves and act from that perception. When repeated often enough the flatterer's words will begin to appear true to us. People in high positions and power in society are most susceptible to flattery. Also, the more insecure you are the more you will succumb to flattery. We need to distinguish between a flatterer and a genuine well-wisher. Flatterers flatter constantly. Well-wishers praise when it is appropriate.

If someone tells you that you are not intelligent or smart, that is his personal opinion of you. If you believe his opinion and take it to be a fact then your mood will change, your self-image will take a beating and you will feel depressed for the rest of the day and our minds do just that. Instantly, without any further thought, it believes such statements to be true. The person who said this to you may have observed you only on a few occasions and formed a judgment about you based on those limited interactions. Instead of asking him what made him form such a judgment, our mind will believe his generalized assessment of us without further questioning. You may not have acted intelligently on one occasion but he will not say that. He will say that you are not at all intelligent and our minds will believe it. When opinions about us are believed to be facts we will unwittingly become victims of our own beliefs, with negative consequences.

The same is the case when someone is called a liar, cheat, selfish, untrustworthy, unreliable, good for nothing, lazy, etc. One occasion where they displayed such behavior is enough to condemn them for life. We cannot prevent people from making generalized statements about character but we can avoid it in our own communication with others. Unless we stop making such generalizations, we cannot prevent ourselves from becoming a victim of those very opinions. We need to change our communication from — he is a liar to he lied on this occasion. Whenever someone makes a negative statement about us we must ask him the occasion or event that caused him to form his opinion. If it is true tell him that it is not true for all time to come.

It may have been true on one occasion but the person has generalized it. We just have to convince our minds that it is not an eternal fact. Also, by not saying such things about others we will become more aware of the falseness of such generalizations. We will then also be able to see the distinction between an opinion and a fact.

The default programming of the mind is to convert opinions into facts without examining them in detail. In daily life, we have to accept the opinions of experts like doctors, lawyers, and engineers because we know little about such subjects. That is fine. If they give a wrong opinion all we can do is to change our advisor. But when it comes to our own self-image, we need to be very careful in believing every opinion based on a few stray incidents.

Any time words such as better, best, superior, inferior, great, terrible, fantastic are used, they are opinions of one individual. A person who says ‘this is the best restaurant in town’ is indirectly saying that he liked the food there. That is all it means. But our minds are capable of taking his statement literally and believing that it is indeed the best restaurant in town. A few days later someone else may come and say that another restaurant is the best one in town. Our confused minds will soon switch sides. Once we develop the ability to discern between an opinion and a fact we will not be taken in by such opinions. From our side, we can alter our communication by ending our observation with ‘this is my view’ or ‘this is my personal opinion’. This will make it clear that it is an opinion and not the truth. Similarly, when someone asks us ‘should I do this?’ we can say ‘I can’t tell what you should do but this is what I would do under these circumstances for the following reasons’

Similarly, anyone who says this is the best spiritual path, this religion is superior to another, the purpose of life is to serve society, carpenters are inferior to surgeons, success means being recognized by the world, so and so is the greatest person who ever lived are all dishing out their opinions. We can choose to believe them or create our own opinions on the subject. None of them are true but are mere opinions, but the mind is capable of believing them to be true. This is what we have to guard against.

The mind is also capable of believing facts to be mere opinions. There are people who don’t believe in the Darwinian theory of evolution that we evolved from the apes. They believe that man was created by God. The Big Bang is also controversial. Some think that it is true while others think that it is mere conjecture. These things don’t matter so much in our daily lives. But what if you don’t believe in placebos? You are missing out on an opportunity to be healed by one. What if we don’t believe in the power of ritual, prayer, or devotion like many atheists do? We simply miss out on their beneficial effects.

In the medical field choosing an opinion is critical. It can be quite a challenge to decide which opinion to believe. One diabetes specialist may opine that diabetes is an incurable disease and needs life-long allopathic medication. Another may opine that it is not a disease but a lifestyle issue and changes in lifestyle, exercise and diet can keep it under control. The opinion you choose to believe to be true will determine the future course of action and your attitude towards diabetes.

Emotions normally surge up when someone says something negative to us. We need to immediately ask ourselves whether it is their opinion or is it a fact that can be verified. This will subdue the emotion temporarily, which may otherwise cause havoc. If it is an opinion, we need to ask what facts were considered to arrive at such an opinion. If it is a fact, we need to ask about the incident or occasion when it happened. We can then form a judgment on whether to believe the opinion or not.

There are also facts that can change over time. When someone says he is poor, he is fat, he is not skillful, it could be true for the moment, but not forever. Many opinions are formed by peer pressure and social media, without examining their veracity. We need to challenge these messages every time without accepting them blindly.

If someone tells you that you are brilliant you will do everything it needs to act brilliantly so that they continue to say that you are brilliant. If you hear that you have poor grasping ability and you believe it you will notice it more glaringly on occasions when you fail to grasp and not notice instances when you did grasp.

Statements like these will be listened to as a fact.

He is useless

Our culture and tradition are superior to all others

Geography is a boring subject

You can safely invest in this stock

He is totally unreliable

He has no common sense

When someone has an opinion different from ours we are uncomfortable. We think our opinion is right. But no opinion is right or wrong. They are just points of view. They are not facts. If anyone says you have potential that is a fact. Everyone has potential. Some people have the ability to see hidden potential in a person. The question then is to be selective in converting opinions into truths. It should not be that the default setting is to convert all opinions into facts. This requires discernment and discrimination. If we believe every flatterer's words, we will soon become delusional.

Since beliefs are the basis for action, we need to choose our beliefs carefully. We have been given the power to believe or not believe opinions. Once believed, the opinion becomes a fact and is hard to change.

All adjectives that describe nouns are opinions. It is a beautiful sunset is an opinion, not a fact. Interpretations are also opinions. Poverty is a fact, but not an unalterable fact. But to believe that was caused by one’s past life is an opinion we can choose not to believe. To fail in an examination is a fact. But to interpret that solitary failure and believe I am a failure is an opinion and if believed in will only cause further failures.

But if someone tells you that you will not make it in life that is not a fact either. You have still time to make it in life and fortunes can change. But if you believe in it then it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy and weaken your self-image. If the mind persists in believing in it you will have to reprogram it by repeating to yourself that it is merely someone’s opinion and not a fact and work towards proving him wrong.

If someone tells you that he sees great potential in you that potential may be invisible to you. It is not a fact for you as yet. It is just someone’s opinion of you. Should you believe his opinion? Yes. Because this opinion could become a fact in future.

Science believes in facts. They don’t go by opinions, conjectures, hypotheses unless they can be proved experimentally. But we can’t live life like that. Life is not an equation. You have to start a business believing that it will do well. You begin with a hypothesis that it is a profitable business to be in. It is not a fact as yet. You have to convert it into a fact.

Converting an opinion into fact needs to be a conscious choice. If we allow the unconscious mind to make this choice for us, we may be taken for a ride with lifelong consequences. The mind has a tendency to believe the negative aspects of others. By doing so it feels it is on high moral ground. This programming has to be neutralized by realizing that the negative comment was an opinion of one person only. You need more than one opinion to form a judgment about character.

We must ask ourselves whether what we heard was a one-sided opinion or was it a balanced one. When you dislike someone, you will only emphasize the negative qualities and completely ignore the positive traits. Everyone is a combination of good and bad qualities. What we choose to see more of will tilt our opinion. Nothing we ever hear about character is a fact set in stone. It can always change.

Examples of opinions

This is the best restaurant in town

You will not make it in life

You are not intelligent

You are selfish

Democracy is superior to monarchy

He is a liar.

Facts that can change

He is poor

He is fat

He does not have the requisite skills

Facts that cannot change

Distances

Physical laws

Dates

If we don’t distinguish between opinions and facts, what may not be true will appear true and we will act on it. If we confuse facts as opinions then we may not act on them. Once the mind believes an opinion to be a fact it will act on it. When opinions and facts are mixed up, our thinking and consequent actions get distorted and biased.

The mind has to convert opinions into facts in order to act. It doesn’t give much weightage to opinions unless it believes them to be true. This process cannot be avoided. If someone opines that you are smart you better believe it as it would spur you to remain smart. But if you are told that you are not intelligent and you believed it to be true then it will weaken you.

We generally dislike criticism because we believe them to be true. Some are. Nevertheless, all criticisms are opinions. The person criticizing does not think it is merely his opinion. He considers it to be an iron-clad truth. When we are criticized, we go on the defensive. We justify our actions.

You may hear some people say that the purpose of life is to do service to society. That is only an opinion of someone who likes to do service. It may not be suitable for everyone. The best spiritual path is the path of devotion is again an opinion of a person who likes that path. Success means being recognized by the world is one perspective on success. It is not the whole truth about success.

Next time you hear any statement ask yourself- is it an opinion or a fact?