What bonds couples and what disconnects

What bonds couples

1. Deep and profound conversations
2. Sharing life incidents from childhood
3. Playing outdoor and indoor games together
4. Respecting each other’s families
5. Doing activities together
6. Watching sports
7. Supporting the same political party
8. Going to temples and pilgrimages
9. Performing rituals
10. Vacations and excursions
11. Sharing household chores
12. Giving extra empathy and care when sick
13. Talking in a soft and endearing tone
14. Physical Intimacy
15. Taking care of the children
16. Having similar ideologies
17. Having similar tastes in food, clothing, books, music, theatre, movies, aesthetics
18. Common friends
19. Surprise gifts
20. Going out of the way to help
21. Doing things without being told
22. Helping with the cooking
23. Getting back to normal quickly after an argument
24. Praising each other in front of others
25. Taking interest in each other’s interests
26. Acknowledging a good deed
27. Helping others jointly
28. Doing what the other likes even if you don’t feel like it
29. Resolving conflicts with maturity
30. Not arguing when in an emotional state
31. Encouraging the others interests and talents
32. Criticising the action and not the person
33. Being trustworthy
34. Expressing emotions when upset
35. Accepting one’s mistakes
36. Honouring ones word
37. Having a sense of humour
38. Being financially responsible
39. Making the other feel secure physically and psychologically
40. Spending adequate time at home
41. Endearing qualities like empathy, forgiveness,
42. Heroes and historical figures admired by both
43. Adoring the same guru or mentor
44. Learning together
45. Being Proactive
46. Reminiscing good old times
47. Bonding with in laws
48. Playing with one’s children together
49. Being respectful
50. Requesting, not demanding
51. Using endearing terms while talking
52. Focusing on the positive aspects of the other
53. Realistic expectations
54. Not crossing boundaries
55. Conversing in the mother tongue of your partner

What disconnects couples

1. Holier than thou attitude
2. Making mountains out of molehills
3. Criticising in front of others
4. Pointing out mistakes in a victorious tone
5. Ridiculing slips of tongue and mispronunciation
6. Sarcasm and cynicism
7. Meta messages and innuendos that can be misunderstood
8. Saying: I told you so
9. Making the other the target of jokes
10. Lying and concealing
11. Saying No to everything
12. Raking up past incidents
13. Regretting the past
14. Expecting perfection
15. Ordering and commanding
16. Constantly justifying
17. Whining and complaining
18. Fault finding
19. Not resolving conflicts within a time frame
20. Accusing
21. Focusing on the negative aspects of the other
22. Unrealistic expectations
23. Going back on one’s promises