What bonds couples and what disconnects

2 min readOct 13, 2022


What bonds couples

  1. Deep and profound conversations
  2. Sharing life incidents from childhood
  3. Playing outdoor and indoor games together
  4. Respecting each other’s families
  5. Doing activities together
  6. Watching sports
  7. Supporting the same political party
  8. Going to temples and pilgrimages
  9. Performing rituals
  10. Vacations and excursions
  11. Sharing household chores
  12. Giving extra empathy and care when sick
  13. Talking in a soft and endearing tone
  14. Physical Intimacy
  15. Taking care of the children
  16. Having similar ideologies
  17. Having similar tastes in food, clothing, books, music, theatre, movies, aesthetics
  18. Common friends
  19. Surprise gifts
  20. Going out of the way to help
  21. Doing things without being told
  22. Helping with the cooking
  23. Getting back to normal quickly after an argument
  24. Praising each other in front of others
  25. Taking interest in each other’s interests
  26. Acknowledging a good deed
  27. Helping others jointly
  28. Doing what the other likes even if you don’t feel like it
  29. Resolving conflicts with maturity
  30. Not arguing when in an emotional state
  31. Encouraging the others interests and talents
  32. Criticising the action and not the person
  33. Being trustworthy
  34. Expressing emotions when upset
  35. Accepting one’s mistakes
  36. Honouring ones word
  37. Having a sense of humour
  38. Being financially responsible
  39. Making the other feel secure physically and psychologically
  40. Spending adequate time at home
  41. Endearing qualities like empathy, forgiveness,
  42. Heroes and historical figures admired by both
  43. Adoring the same guru or mentor
  44. Learning together
  45. Being Proactive
  46. Reminiscing good old times
  47. Bonding with in laws
  48. Playing with one’s children together
  49. Being respectful
  50. Requesting, not demanding
  51. Using endearing terms while talking
  52. Focusing on the positive aspects of the other
  53. Realistic expectations
  54. Not crossing boundaries
  55. Conversing in the mother tongue of your partner

What disconnects couples

  1. Holier than thou attitude
  2. Making mountains out of molehills
  3. Criticising in front of others
  4. Pointing out mistakes in a victorious tone
  5. Ridiculing slips of tongue and mispronunciation
  6. Sarcasm and cynicism
  7. Meta messages and innuendos that can be misunderstood
  8. Saying: I told you so
  9. Making the other the target of jokes
  10. Lying and concealing
  11. Saying No to everything
  12. Raking up past incidents
  13. Regretting the past
  14. Expecting perfection
  15. Ordering and commanding
  16. Constantly justifying
  17. Whining and complaining
  18. Fault finding
  19. Not resolving conflicts within a time frame
  20. Accusing
  21. Focusing on the negative aspects of the other
  22. Unrealistic expectations
  23. Going back on one’s promises




Live in Chennai, India. Interested in life subjects and how the mind works. Articles attempt to give perspectives on life